Marriage Vows

I,___, take you,___, to be my (wife or husband), to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death us do part, according to God's holy law, and this is my solemn vow.

Saying the marriage vows is one important moment in the marriage ceremony. It is accompanied with smiles, joy, happiness, some level of satisfaction and accomplishment. In this article we will break down the marriage vows into part and we will try to explain each statement for you to understand before you say 'I do, till death us do part, according to God's holy law, and this is my solemn vow”.

What is Marriage

Before we breakdown and explain the vows let us first define marriage. Marriage is a union between a man and a woman who have through a public act pledged or vowed to love, cherish and hold each other in better or worse times, in richer or poorer times, in sickness and in health till death separate them.

What does the Bible say about marital vows?

It is important to mention at this point that, the marriage vows used at weddings or marriage ceremonies for the groom or the bride is not in the Holy Bible. The Holy Bible does not actually mention vows being required or expected in a marriage (not in the sixty-six books of the Holy Bible). The exact time or date when the concept of wedding vows for the bride or the groom was first developed and used in marriages particularly in Christian marriages is not known; however, it is believed that the marriage vows used in modern marriages and Christian marriages originated from a book titled 'Anglican Book of Common Prayer'. It was a book commissioned by James the first in 1662. The book contains the following lines use in the modern marriage vows:

1. Solemnization of matrimony
2. Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today
3. The lines such as the couple having each other in sickness and health until death do them part.

The Marriage Vows phrase by phrase

At every Christian wedding, the bride and groom make promises to each other and to God. They vow to love, honour, respect, and cherish each other, in good and bad times until death separate them. In the paragraphs below we will discuss each phrase in the marriage vows.

I take you to be my wedded wife/husband

This is the first and an important phrase in the marriage vows. This is because the statement shows or expresses the choice and decision of each partner. That is they out of their own freewill are choosing each other for life.

To have and to hold

This statement shows physical intimacy that should exist between the couple. The couple are for each other. That is, they will care for each other, be there for each other and take care of each other. When the whole world turns their backs on him or her you will never neglect each other. In addition, this statement also means: the Husband and wife, have the right and freedom to express their love for one another affectionately, romantically, and sexually.

From this day forward

This phrase 'From this day forward' shows that you are starting a new journey in life with your partner. This partnership start from the day of your wedding till the day God will call you home. This also shows that you are willing to leave the old things behind, and are willing to start a new life with your partner.

For better or for worse

“For better or for worse” phrase shows the seriousness of your commitment to your partner. By saying this phrase it means you are fully aware of the ups and downs; good and bad times in life. So you will stand and be with your partner in good times and worse times. Whatever life will throw at your partner, you will stand with each other and remain faithful to yourselves. It must be noted that this phrase is not to lock someone in an abusive relationship. Couple must love and respect each other. It is part of the phrase you say on your wedding day. This phrase is discussed below. The phrase “for better or for worse” is about challenges that life can bring to a person and your pledge to remain faithful to the person in such times as well as in better times.

For richer or for poorer

You or your partner can be super rich or financially stable on the day of your wedding; however, he or she can lose all that he or she had in the years ahead. When this situation presents itself, you have to remember you have vowed to the person in the presence of God and witnesses to stay with him or her in such times. On the other hand you may be a struggling person on your wedding day. When the Lord bless you with riches, remember you have vowed before God and witnesses that you will share your riches with your partner. So this phrase “for richer or for poorer” works for both situations. That is; when your partner is facing financial challenges stay with your partner and when the Lord bless you with riches stay with your partner.

In sickness and in health

This phrase is your pledge to support your partner in any health condition. We pray for the best happy marriage; however our body sometimes fails us. The phrase “in sickness and in health” is a pledge you are making to assure your partner that you will never leave their side regardless of their health condition. That is you will love them for what they are inside and not based on bodily conditions. Men only: saying this phrase in the vow mean you will support your wife to go through all stages of pregnancy and nursing of children.

To love and to cherish

It is in this phrase that you directly express your love to each other and pledge to continue to love each other forever. Love is a verb and must be seen in your behaviour toward each other. Love is patient, kind, does not envy, does not boast, is not proud, is not rude, is not self seeking, it not easily angered, does not keep records of wrongs, does not delight in evil, Love always rejoice in truth, always protect, always trust, always hope, always perseveres and never fails. So by saying this phrase “to love and to cherish” you are pledging to show or exhibit all the attribute of love above to your partner. To cherish in the vows means you will protect and care for your partner. You will be devoted to the person, hold your partner dear and will not be abusive or hostile to your partner. In some instants the phrase “forsaking all others” will be added to the marriage vows. This is a pledge of commitment to your partner, that is, your partner will always come first in your life and you will always find time to attend to your partner’s needs.

Till death us do part

This phrase indicates the permanence of marriage. By saying this phrase, you acknowledge and accept that marriage is permanent. That is marriage is lifelong; from the day of your wedding to death. In the marriage vows you make a pledge to live with each other till God calls you home.

According to God’s holy ordinance

This phrase means you are going to use the laws and principles of the Creator and the author of the holy ordinance of marriage to guide your marriage life. Since the first marriage in the Garden of Eden that is the marriage between Adam and Eve, marriage has been holy and sacred. Marriage is a plan God made for us to have a companion and to be happy in life. So when you decide to get married you are fulfilling the intents of God for His people to love one another, be happy and raise godly children for Him.

And this is my solemn vow

The final phrase or statement to make in the marriage vows is “and this is my solemn vow”. This is where you finally confirm that you are making the vow with each other in the presence of God and witnesses.

Conclusion

Marriage vows are legally and morally binding and it cannot be easily broken. That is why it is made the presence of God and witnesses. Before you say “I do, till death us do part”, reflect on each phrase or statement in the vow; make ensure you understand each phrase and you can do it before you say “I do, till death us do part”. For God has no pleasure in fools who do not fulfill their vows. (Ecclesiastes 5:4). God bless you. SHALOM!!!